Tempered Cass

IF ONLY If only my soul and my mind would remember together that each of these trials are beautiful and merciful gifts that you will use to deliver me from a life long separation. My heart aches, and so my challenges are reacted to with the fiery temper housed within my breast so full of anger and pride that it is like ravenous beast gnawing at the opportunity to be released. They are met with irritation and still among the rage within me, I find in my age the urge to fight as result is being replaced with near obsessive longings to flee. I yearn to run away at times, to be in far away places where no one demands that this problem (a problem most often they created themselves) be fixed immediately. Where the sounds I hear are of sweet birds and laughter and either the rustle of aspens or waves breaking on the deep sea. Where the feeling on my skin is only the gentle kiss of the sun and cool breeze and the tender affection of my kind, patient and strong husband and even the soft grasp...

Dear woman/parent/adult breather , who might be feeling like me....  You are okay, you are better than okay you were fashioned out of the finest clay. You have been molded and set afire to be strengthened; to carry many a load: like water to purify, cleanse and heal. Like the number of marbles, candies or Pinterest count down calendars, that represent the number of days until the other half of yourself returns from far away places. Like the rice that just may be the meal needed  to keep death by starving at bay. Or in our case the spoonful of peanut butter because The grocery trip hasn't made it to the top of the to do list. Like the football gear, musical instruments, homework, medicine, laundry, proposals, pleas, documents, flyers, and notes. Calendars for parent teacher conferences and tryouts and the hopeful free day for a date. It's funny...you may feel so full of these things and yet so very empty at the same time. Your kids or loved ones may break a hole in that t...