Cracked Clay

Dear woman/parent/adult breather, who might be feeling like me.... 

You are okay, you are better than okay you were fashioned out of the finest clay. You have been molded and set afire to be strengthened; to carry many a load: like water to purify, cleanse and heal. Like the number of marbles, candies or Pinterest count down calendars, that represent the number of days until the other half of yourself returns from far away places. Like the rice that just may be the meal needed to keep death by starving at bay. Or in our case the spoonful of peanut butter because The grocery trip hasn't made it to the top of the to do list. Like the football gear, musical instruments, homework, medicine, laundry, proposals, pleas, documents, flyers, and notes. Calendars for parent teacher conferences and tryouts and the hopeful free day for a date. It's funny...you may feel so full of these things and yet so very empty at the same time. Your kids or loved ones may break a hole in that tempered clay or two or just fracture it a little with this slammed door or that tear after having been scolded for the umpteenth time for something so small and annoying you wish it just didn't bother you at all or if only they would have just listened the first time.... Socks go in the hamper, rubbish in the trash can and at this point fingers should really stop finding themselves in noses; and for heavens sake take the ear buds out of your ears, slow down, stop texting after curfew and look at me when I'm talking to you....
Two things I promise you, those cracks and holes.... They are necessary. They are hard as hell to endure but when God pours his love and joy into you it has to shoot out in splendor and what better place than on all that you do and all you do it for? 
So, no matter where your stress originates, it wouldn't matter if YOU didn't matter and YOU matter a lot. Like Chris Stefanik says, "you're kind of a big deal" but not because of who you are, but because of whose you are. So I have a new series of cracks in my clay.... And a slew more on their way as we survive this season but I believe weathered is the new black and I am anticipating a pouring out. Holy Spirit please get me out of your way, forgive me for my wrongdoings and big ol messiness but help me to remember how blessed I am. Even in all these headaches I want to #livelikelola. I want to be who I am, accept what I can't change even though it breaks me and trust in the God who is crazy about me. Pray for me that like my Lola girl I might be able to "just ignore them, because I was having fun"
Just know....you are wonderful and our hardships are meant to draw us closer to the heart of Jesus. Love to you all.

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